Start Knowing

It was happened tonight, I just woke up in the middle of night for no reason. Wondering about time, I was looking my mobile phone under my pillow and there was notification from Facebook that Elizabeth Gilbert (one of my favourite writer) updated her status. Even I felt my eyes so sore and my brain loading like only about 30%, I started to read it and... well, I felt my tears falling down.

All of her words struck me into deep my heart. All of that words is masterpiece. Instead of questioning how she can explain it so loud, I know she is true. Maybe when you read that, you will think it's all overwhelming or she is too dramatize. But my dear, it's because you can't feel that, or maybe you already too far from your voice of heart. But one thing you should know, woman like me or others, we never lie to our heart. Sometimes maybe we ignore about it, but still it never stop. For last 2 years, I can tell you that I have been through a lot of hard times. It was very hard. It kept me drown too deep. I'm not kind of weepy, moan or mushy woman, but I cried for almost everyday for almost 2 years. I felt like the whole world against me. All my plans of life went to the wrong direction. I never feel that kind of sadness. Until I found out the caused,  it was because I no longer true to myself. I gave my life to society molding, which my heart actually rejected it. After a long self-meditation, I promise my self to get back for who I was before. I will never ever lie to my heart again even I have to conflict or contradict with my own family, society and world. People may call me odd, strange or overstate, but the worst part is maybe I will face it alone. Yes, alone! But, still, I decide and commit to highly respect my heart, my inner voice and myself. No more lie, I'm done with it. 

Below is Elizabeth Gilbert complete status that I wish open your eyes and mind too. I bold the words which effected me the most, for I know that I wasn't the only one who feel that intuition. So, enjoy yourself reading this article.

Dear Ones-

START KNOWING.

This is something I wrote in my journal a few months ago.

These words came to me through a powerful internal voice.

Allow me to explain.

I hear voices sometimes.

It's cool. Don't be alarmed. It's all good. I'm willing to bet you hear voices sometimes, too.

AT LEAST I HOPE YOU DO.

Every powerful woman I know is guided by voices.

Here's a story:

I have a brilliant friend who used to work in academia. She told me once that she'd been conducting a series of interviews of accomplished women, for a research project about women's success in the workplace. On the outside, all these women appeared to have nothing in common. They came from all different cultural and ethnic backgrounds, and all worked in different fields -- corporate and non-profit, secular and religious. But each woman carried herself with confidence and ease, and all of them had become quite powerful in their own corners of the world. When my friend asked these women how they had gotten so far, they all began by dutifully reported the same sorts of standard statements about the importance of hard work, and cultivating discipline, and fostering good professional contacts, and staying positive, and uplifting other women, and seeking out mentors, and blah, blah, blah..

Sounds perfectly logical, right?

But then there would come a moment in each interview where EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE WOMEN would seem to get bored with the questions, or maybe she was just feeling mischievous. Then each woman (EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!) would ask my friend to turn off the recording device. Then the woman would lean in really close to my friend, and say in a conspiratorial whisper, "But do you want to hear what REALLY happened?" And then EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE WOMEN would report how — at some point in her life — she had heard a voice. A mystical voice. An otherworldly voice. A powerful and certain voice. A commanding voice. A voice that could not be explained away rationally. And each of these women reported that this voice had told her exactly what she needed to do next. And she had done it.

"I know it sounds crazy..." they would say. But it was true.

They had heard a voice, and they had followed the voice.

It hadn't been easy for any of them, they reported. The voices often told them to do really, really hard things — things that often felt like total disruptions of their lives.

Maybe the voice had said, "It's time for you to move to Los Angeles now" — even though the woman had just signed a lease on an apartment in Houston.

Or maybe the voice had said, "It's time for you to go to medical school" — even though she'd just had a baby.

Or maybe the voice had said, "It's time for you to leave that boyfriend" — even though her parents really liked him.

Or maybe the voice had said, "This religious path is no longer authentic or meaningful for you" — even though she had been raised by fundamentalists.

Or maybe the voice had said, "It's time for you to learn Mandarin" — even though she'd never been to China.

But the voice had come. And whatever the voice said, the woman in question had taken the enormous risk of deciding to follow it. Even when it was inconvenient. Even when it was challenging. Even when it seemed prohibitively expensive. Even when it meant cutting her losses and walking away from any sense of security whatsoever. Even when it cost her the approval of friends and family. Even when everyone thought she was insane.

And THAT'S how she had gotten there, to her place of power in the world. It really had nothing to do with professional contacts, or mentors...it was just that she heard a voice, and she chose to listen.

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

So.

I hear voices, too.

I heard voices when I was a teenager, saying, "You are meant to be a writer," and when people said, "But how will you make a living at THAT?", those voices were still like, "Yeah, whatever...you are meant to be a writer." And when I got rejection letters for years and years, and nobody was interested in my work, those voices were STILL like, "Yup...you are definitely meant to be a writer." And those voices STILL tell me I'm meant to be a writer. I'll stop writing when the voices stop telling me to write.

I heard voices telling me to move to New York City when I was young. I heard voices telling me that it was imperative that I see the world, and that I learn how to travel alone as a woman — no matter what the cost or risk. I heard voices telling me not to settle for the security of getting a "real job" — but instead to just work odd jobs, and to keep traveling, and to keep writing, and to keep gambling everything for creativity and an exploratory life of the mind. (You guys, I can't tell you how many times the voices tell me never to choose security over creativity. It's exhausting and sometimes scary. But they seem to REALLY MEAN IT.)

When I was in my 20's, I heard voices warning me not to get married, but I went ahead and got married anyway (side note: it's REALLY HARD for young women to push back against the forces of culture and tradition sometimes) and then I SERIOUSLY started hearing voices when I was 30 years old, and firmly married, and living in a shiny new house in the the suburbs, and my mind and body were absolutely falling to pieces, and I was supposed to be trying to have a baby that year, and the voices started screaming, "OH, NO YOU DON'T, MISSY!" And then I had to leave everything behind, in order to re-calibrate my path to my own truth. (This was awfully inconvenient and horrible and expensive and terrifying. And it's REALLY HARD to decide not to have a child in a culture that still tells women that having children, ultimately, is the only thing that shall fulfill them. But the voices were like "NOPE", so I had to leave it all behind. We call that "a course adjustment". It's never easy. But you don't get to chart your own life without making some pretty hardcore course corrections along the way.)

I still hear voices. I heard voices this spring telling me to leave everything behind yet again, and to gamble everything for love. (Very hard. Very scary. Very ACCURATE.)

Where do the voices come from? Beats me. You can call it "intuition". You can call it "the still small voice within". You can call it your "inner compass". You can call it "God". You can call it "Angels". You can call it your "spirit guides". You can call it your "gut instinct". You can call it your "dead ancestors speaking though you." You can call it "the flow"...but whatever it is, those voices exist. And you must train yourself to trust them, and to risk everything in order to follow them.

Notice that I didn't say, "You must train yourself to hear them."

I don't think you have to practice hearing them. I think they are always talking to you. I just think you have to train yourself to TRUST THEM. That's the hard part.

Learning to trust those voices is a practice that you can cultivate. Just like any other craft or skill, it is worth the effort to learn how to master it.

So...Today, I want to tell you what my voices have started telling me lately.

It's just these two words:

START KNOWING.

Here's the thing about my voices. They can be merciless. They are not always sweet and gentle. Sure, there are times when my voices say, "Poor baby! Poor little small one...we are so sorry that you are suffering, please take care of yourself, and lay down in a soft and safe place with a warm towel over your head"....but there are also times when my voices are like, "Oh for God's sake, FIND YOUR STRENGTH. Grow a fucking spine, woman, and take the action you need to take right now, and stop wasting time...we didn't send you here to let you pretend to be damn weak." (Interesting side note: The difference between THAT voice and my dark internal voice of self-hatred is that the dark internal voice of self-hatred says, "You're such a baby, you aren't worthy, you are a scum person, just curl up on the floor in a pile of dirty towels and die," but the mystical all-knowing voice says, "We love you too much to let you keep pretending that you are so powerless...COME ON! Let's DO THIS! GROW A FUCKING SPINE! WE HAVE THINGS TO DO! WE HAVE A DESTINY TO CREATE! STAND UP OFF THE FLOOR!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!!!" See the difference? Good.)

There have been times in my life (this year, among them) where my voices have needed to get really firm with me. They have challenged me, and they have pushed back against my arguments. They will hold my face in the truth and make me look at it, even when the truth hurts. They will not baby me. They refuse to enable me. This is good. They will not say, "It's OK, honey! Don't worry! It's all good! It doesn't matter — you're doing your best, and everyone's human!", but instead they say, "Actually, honey, it's NOT ALL GOOD. This situation is NOT OK, and the way you are behaving is NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, and it's time for you to grow a spine, and challenge yourself more, get creative, and change everything. Let's GO!"

But mostly, this year, my voices have been saying to me just these two words: "START KNOWING."

Anytime I am faced with a dilemma, and I start to feel very small and confused, and I hear myself saying, "I don't know what to do!", some voice from deep within me rises in full power and says, "START KNOWING."

(I even wrote it down in my journal one day, for my entire entry that day. So that is what this picture is all about START KNOWING.)

What my voices are challenging me is to realize is that when I am feeling sad and scared and small, and I keep saying, "I don't know what to do!" — the truth is that usually I DO know. In fact, my voices are pretty certain that I always know. Somewhere, deep within me, I have always known what I need to do. I just don't want to do it sometimes, because it's too hard, or too scary, or seems to wild or too risky. Or I don't want to hurt anyone. Or I don't want to be judged. Or I don't want to lose what I have already attained. But still — I do know. Secretly, I do know. And my voices get impatient with me, because they're like, "Look, lady, we don't have forever, OK? You have all the information you need. Nothing will change now unless you change it. Make a move right here. Stop pretending you don't know what you need to do. START KNOWING."

I'm sensing this in so many women whom I encounter these days, too. They seem stuck and frustrated and confused and insecure and afraid. They have grown too comfortable/uncomfortable in the realm of "not knowing" what to do. They come up to me at my speaking events, and they introduce themselves by telling me about their injuries and their wounds. Before they have even told me what they want to create in this world, or who they long to become, they tell me the worst thing that has ever happened to them. Then I hear them start spinning and spinning and spinning the same story they've been telling for years about what happened to them, and how it damaged them, and what they want, but what they aren't getting, and why they can't change it, and why this situation is impossible, and what they wish would happen, and why can't it all be different, and why it's too late...and then they say, "I just don't know what to do!"

And I swear to God, this fearsome strong voice starts to rise out from the center of my spine, and all I want to do is take that woman by her shoulders, shake her, and shout at the top of my lungs: "START KNOWING!"

(But in a loving way. I love you all! Seriously, I love you guys! Smiley face! You go girl!)

But seriously...this voice that rises within me is not a voice of judgment or contempt. It's not a disgusted voice. This is just the voice of the Archangel of Womanhood — a divine force who cannot abide seeing any woman who has ANY power in her life pretending that she has no power in her life. Not you, not me, not your sisters, not your daughters, not your mothers. She just can't take it anymore. So voice of the Archangel of Womanhood says (out of a sense of fierce but merciless compassion, and a desire to liberate us all), "START KNOWING!"

Yes, it's hard. Of course it's hard. What did you think — it would be easy? Did you think they would just hand your destiny to you, cost-free? Yes, you might have to risk everything. Yes, you might have to cut your losses. Yes, some people will hate it. Yes, some people may never understand and never forgive you. Yes, you may walk away from the situation with a permanent scar, or a bad limp, or a battered heart. Yes, yes, yes, blah, blah, blah...

But come ON!

START KNOWING.

Stop saying, "I don't know what to do!" Because I believe that — somewhere deep in your center — there is some powerful truth about your life which YOU ALREADY DO KNOW.

If you're afraid of making a hasty decision, just remember that the alternative is to stay stuck in the same bullshit garbage death swamp you've been stuck in for years. (I say that lovingly! I love you! Smiley face!)

So start knowing. Start knowing what you already know. Start knowing what is so damn obvious about your life that a perfect stranger could see the problem, if you told her about your situation in a five minute conversation. Start knowing that you will no longer degrade yourself with the illusion that are powerless, that you're in a trap. (Here's the evidence of that: Tell me your story of how powerless you are, and I will find you a story of a woman who was in EXACTLY the same situation, and she changed it. I know...that sounds harsh. But it's true. Start knowing that it's true.)

Start knowing that you have far more agency than you think. Start knowing that the story you've been telling yourself about your limitations, or your helplessness in this situation, is NO LONGER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. Start being honest with yourself about something that your body has been trying to tell you for years. (Listen to your body's pain — IT KNOWS. The body always knows. The body knows exactly the thing that is causing you suffering, and holding you back. I had a boyfriend once who I was madly in love with, but every time I got in his bed, my body would explode into pain, because my body already knew, "This man is no good for you." I didn't want to know it, because I was blinded by love — but my body knew. Start knowing what your body already knows.)

Start knowing the kind of woman you need to become — so that your daughters can have a better chance of becoming that kind of woman, too. Start knowing that the universe didn't send you here to this fearsome planet of change and danger so that you could practice being more afraid...but rather" The universe sent you here to this fearsome planet of change and danger so that you could practice being more BRAVE. (Stop waiting for the world to feel safe, before you live your life. The world never will never feel safe. This planet has a nickname in the universe, you know. It's called: THE ADVANCED SCHOOL FOR UTMOST HUMAN BRAVERY. They do not call our planet: THE COMFY RESTING PLACE FOR PRACTICING EASE AND SECURITY.)

Start knowing how brave you are. Start knowing how resilient you are. Start knowing how resourceful you are. Start knowing that you are the descendent of thousands of years of survivors, and that have you inherited all their wiles. Start knowing that the Archangel of Womanhood loves you too much to let you keep acting meek and degraded. Start knowing how willing you are to walk away from all of it, if you must. Start knowing that there are no victims in this room. (I can't tell you how many times my voices say to me, "THERE ARE NO VICTIMS IN THIS ROOM." I hate it sometimes when they say that to me. But the Archangel of Womanhood is quite firm on the matter. There are no victims in this room, she says. Period.)

START KNOWING, you guys.

Try saying those two words to yourself in a very calm, very wise, very ancient, very adamant voice — the next time you panic. Just say it (START KNOWING) and then breathe. Then get quiet and see what comes up.

I promise you that your very next thought will be the truth.

It might not be easy, but it will be true.

And you are ready for it.

Seriously, you are.

Start right there. That's what every powerful woman I know has done.

Because the voices within you already know everything. But they can't work with you until you are willing to START KNOWING, too.

OK?

I love you. Smiley face. Let's do this.

ONWARD,

ELIZABETH GILBERT

Person of October; My Remarkable Girlfriends (Special to Jo)

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Person of October; My Remarkable Girlfriends (Special to Jo)

Sesuai dengan topik sebelumnya... di Bulan yang istimewa ini saya ingin membahas tokoh, yaitu salah seorang sahabat perempuan saya. Alasannya apa? Well, saya hanya berpikir kalau tokoh pertama yang akan saya review haruslah saya kenal secara personal dan diluar pertalian keluarga. Tokoh ini haruslah menginspirasi saya dan dekat secara emosional juga. Dengan alasan ini, orang pertama yang saya ingat adalah sahabat terlama saya (sudah 16 tahun) yang bernama Johanna Elisabeth Sinaga.

Sebenarnya, saya memiliki lebih banyak teman pria dari pada teman wanita. Tapi, entah kenapa dari dulu saya sangat selektif ketika memilih teman perempuan. Khusus teman pria, saya tidak akan pernah menceritakan masalah personal saya, kecuali saya memiliki 'feeling' terhadap dia. Teman pria bagi saya adalah teman yang asyik disaat have fun saja, kalau dijadikan tempat curhat khawatirnya akan terjadi kesalahpahaman.
Bisa dikatakan saya adalah tipe yang mengkotak-kotakkan hubungan pertemanan. Misalnya:

Si A: Kategori teman yang cukup hanya sekedar say hai saja bila bertemu
Si B: Teman untuk have fun
Si C: Teman saat lagi punya duit banyak
Si D: I can trust everything and count on them

Untuk teman wanita, well, sebenarnya saya punya banyak, namun hanya sedikit yang sangat dekat dan saya percayai. Kepada mereka saya sudah tidak memiliki rahasia apapun. I told them every single thing about me and my truly condition. Hanya kepada mereka saya tidak bertopeng, hanya didepan mereka saya tidak malu untuk menangis, dan hanya mereka yang saya ijinkan untuk memarahi saya, 'memerintah' saya, atau menasehati saya (terkadang, bahkan perkataan mereka lebih saya dengarkan daripada nasehat orangtua saya). Sebegitu berpengaruhnyakah mereka? ya... mereka adalah orang yang sangat berpengaruh dalam hidup saya. Perlu saya garis bawahi, bahwa saya dan teman-teman wanita saya memikili beberapa karakter yang hampir sama:

1. Tegas cenderung keras kepala
2. Cerewet, tanpa basa-basi alias straight to the point
3. Simple dan tomboy
4. No gossip about envy related to other woman
5. Very strong willing
6. Pekerja keras
7. Superior
8. Sarcastic tapi humoris
9. Tidak bisa dandan
10 Konyol dan jahil
11. No hard feeling alias no-drama and sentimentil. Saya terkadang bertengkar hebat dengan mereka, tidak bicara selama berbulan-bulan untuk kemudian bertemu lagi dan melakukan hal gila. Tak ada satupun dari kami mempermasalahkan siapa yang salah... kalau ingin bertemu ya tinggal call saja, selanjutnya kami bahkan lupa kalau sedang bertengkar.
12. Kami sangat, sangat dan sangat sadar bahwa kami tidak cantik secara fisik. Anehnya kami tidak pernah membahas bagaimana caranya supaya menjadi cantik dengan produk-produk kecantikan. Kami akan lebih banyak mengobrol tentang cita-cita, mimpi, cowok, traveling, investasi atau keluarga.
13. We are daughter of our father. We love our father too much! Kami adalah tuan putri untuk bapak kami hehehehehe...
14. Kind of one hearted woman. Do not expect us as a player.

I love and adore my girlfriends soooooo much....!!!!!! I laugh as much as cry with them.

Seperti yang sudah saya ceritakan diawal, sahabat saya yang pertama dan yang paling lama adalah Johanna. Sebelum saya menulis tentang dia, saya sempat meminta ijinnya lewat WA untuk menulis kisah persahabatan kami di blog ini, dan dibalas dengan simple: Boleh aja Ras, I trust you!

Saya mengenal sahabat saya ini ketika memasuki masa SMA/SMU. Kami sekelas, dan dia duduk diseberang bangku saya. Saya lupa bagaimana awalnya kedekatan kami, tapi yang pasti saya langsung suka karna dia cerewet dan tidak jaim atau munafik. Johanna sebenarnya sangat jahil, namun tertutupi dengan tampangnya yang lugu dan pendiam. Siapapun yang melihat dia pasti tidak percaya kalau orangnya konyol level 1. Johanna sangat pintar, punya visi dalam hidup untuk jangka panjang. Johanna merupakan suporter terbaik saya sampai sekarang. Permasalahan apapun yang saya hadapi, sahabat saya yang luar biasa ini mampu memberikan sebaris nasehat yang membuat saya terdiam dan mengakui kalau dia memang benar.

Untuk masalah pribadi alias percintaan, kebetulan kami memiliki persamaan. Yess...kami mudah tertarik dengan pria namun sulit untuk jatuh cinta. Sekali kami jatuh cinta, selalu tahan lama dan menjadi bego bertahun-tahun. Namun jangan salah, disaat kami sedang bego-begonya diakibatkan buta karna penyakit cinta, kami selalu berusaha untuk tetap berpikir rasional. Tapi untuk masalah yang satu ini Johanna lebih cepat move on dibandingkan dengan saya (Huh... beruntung sekali dia!). Pernah suatu kali, mungkin karna dia geram melihat saya yang masih bertahan mencintai 'mantan' gebetan selama bertahun-tahun, dia marah dan menasehati saya dengan kejam.
"Makanya Ras, lain kali kalau cinta itu pakai otak! ga usah terlalu banyak pakai hati!" Sadeeeesss....Wkwkwkwk...

Dulu Johanna pernah pacaran dengan kakak kelas saya di perkuliahan, dan dia dengan cerewet akan bertanya berapa IPK pacarnya itu (Johanna mensyaratkan minimal IPK 3.00). Apakah dia merokok atau tidak. Terjadi beberapa kali proses pengampunan, namun karna pacarnya tidak berubah juga, dengan gampangnya Johanna memutuskan hubungan mereka. Awalnya saya pikir dia egois sekali, terlalu banyak mengatur pacarnya. Ya udah, kenapa memangnya kalau merokok dan IPK dibawah 3.00? namanya juga masih muda, tapi dia tetap tidak bisa terima.
Namun bertahun-tahun kemudian saya baru menyadari kalau apa yang dilakukan Johanna memang benar dan sayapun akhirnya berpikir begini (yang pasti sama dengan Johanna):

Kalau memang pria ini bersedia manjalin hubungan yang istimewa dengan saya, maka saya harus bisa membuat dia lebih baik dan lebih bahagia. Dia harus lebih pintar, lebih maju, lebih dewasa (mental dan spiritual) dan lebih sehat dibandingkan sebelum bertemu dengan saya. Kalau ternyata kehadiran saya tidak membuat dia tambah maju, lha untuk apa ada saya dalam hidupnya? Lebih baik tidak ada hubungan sama sekali. Kalau dia tidak mau kompromi mengenai hal itu, silahkan cari wanita lain yang bisa dia digandeng tangannya menuju ke "kemunduran", karna saya tidak mau hidup berjalan mundur. Begitu juga sebaliknya, sayapun harus merasa lebih baik ketika saya memiliki 'teman istimewa'. 

Berbekal prinsip ini, dulu saya pernah memutuskan untuk meninggalkan teman dekat pria saya hanya karna dia tidak setuju kalau saya melanjutkan studi lagi dengan alasan tidak bisa menerima kalau kami terpisah oleh jarak. Kami kemudian bertengkar, dan saya katakan kalau saya lebih memilih menangisi dia bertahun-tahun daripada tidak lanjut sekolah lagi. Apakah saya menangis? YA. Bertahun-tahun? YA. Apakah saya menyesal? TIDAK. There are no excuses when you decided to pursue your education. Apalagi hanya karna seorang pria yang tidak cukup dewasa secara mental. Saya hanya perlu belajar dan membiasakan diri hidup tanpa dia. Saya bisa dan berani memutuskan demikian, disebabkan pengalaman sahabat saya itu.

Sewaktu saya melanjutkan studi di Yogyakarta, Johanna menelepon dengan membawa berita gembira kalau dia sedang jatuh cinta! Wow... Saya turut berbahagia saat itu. Pria ini pasti sangat istimewa karna dia mampu mencuri hati seorang Johanna. Sampai saya mendengar tentang pria ini secara detail, akhirnya saya menolak untuk menyetujui hubungan mereka. Ada perbedaan yang sangat krusial dan saya memaksa Johanna agar tidak melanjutkan hubungan asmaranya itu. But she couldn't help it. She was so in love with him. Saya tau itu agak sulit, namun saya pikir kalau Johanna juga sudah cukup dewasa untuk menentukan pilihan hidupnya. Sebagai sahabat, saya hanya mengingatkan, kalaupun dia memutuskan untuk tetap menjalin hubungan dengan si pria, ini sama saja dengan memelihara bom waktu. Tinggal menunggu kapan meledaknya saja...

Lima tahun... yap... lima tahun kemudian, bom itu akhirnya meledak. Saya tidak kuat melihat sahabat saya ini patah hati dan berurai airmata. It really broke my heart. Endingnya terlalu menyakitkan, saya tahu kalau dia tidak layak diperlakukan seperti itu. Sahabat saya ini berhak untuk mendapatkan yang terbaik! Tapi cara kerja Tuhan memang istimewa. Disaat bencana patah hati itu terjadi, Johanna mendapatkan beasiswa ke Australia, tepatnya di Melbourne University (Johanna memang gadis yang pintar). Studi keluar negri  merupakan cita-cita yang sudah lama diimpikannya. Saya ingat dulu bagaimana Johanna mensupport saya ketika akan melanjutkan sekolah lagi. Waktu itu saya belum punya sertifikat TOEFL dan kemampuan ilmu pksikotes saya masih perlu diasah lagi. Setiap sabtu kami sama-sama les bahasa asing di Univeristas Indonesia Salemba dan hari Minggunya kami melanjutkan kursus singkat mengenai test potensi akademik di Lebak Bulus Jakarta Selatan. Waktu itu Johanna sedang mengincar beasiswa ke Jerman, sehingga kami sama-sama kursus. Senin sampai Jumat kami bekerja, Sabtu-Minggu dilanjutkan dengan kursus. Tidak ada waktu untuk berleha-leha. Well, paling tidak Johanna bisa melampiaskan rasa patah hatinyanya melalui kuliah. Solusi yang sangat keren dari Sang Pencipta dan saya bahagia sekali karna dia bisa menggapai mimpinya.

Johanna itu perempuan paling kuat yang pernah saya kenal. Pertama kali dia merantau ke Jakarta, dia menelepon saya yang waktu itu masih kuliah di Pekanbaru. Saya sampai menahan tangis ketika dia menceritakan perjuangannya mencari kerja di Jakarta. Dia kost di tempat yang kurang layak supaya bisa mengirit biaya. Setiap hari dia membeli gorengan Rp. 3000,- untuk lauknya makan satu harian. Dia buta dengan lokasi Jakarta, tapi dia pantang menyerah. Setiap hari dia bisa mengirimkan sampai 50 surat lamaran kerja. Kabar sukacita itu akhirnya datang ketika Johanna diterima bekerja di sebuah perusahaan yang bosnya orang bule dengan gaji yang lumayan besar.... yey..!!! Pengalaman sahabat saya ini yang pada akhirnya mendorong saya untuk merantau juga ke Jakarta dan kami sama-sama bercita-cita untuk melanjutkan kuliah lagi.

Well, kami hanya gadis kampung yang selama ini tidak dianggap bahkan mungkin tidak dilirik. Rasa minder kami luar biasa. Saya pernah membaca status Johanna di media sosial yang mengatakan kalau kekuatan terbesarnya adalah "mau belajar dan bekerja keras", dia tidak bisa mengandalkan harta ataupun fisik karna memang dia tidak memiliki itu semua, karnanya dia bersedia belajar dan bekerja lebih keras dari kebanyakan orang untuk mencapai apa yang diimpikannya. Keren kan?
Dulu karna terlalu minder dan saat naksir kakak kelas yang keren-keren sewaktu SMA, kami menjadi penelepon gelap demi bisa melampiaskan rasa iseng dan rasa suka kami.... hahahahaha.... soooo ridiculous!!!! Saya memutuskan untuk tidak menceritakan detailnya karna terlalu banyak hal jahil yang kami lakukan dan saya bingung memulainya darimana.
Kami melakukan itu karna mungkin kami sangat memahami status kami yang "pungguk merindukan bulan". Kasian ya...??? Hahahahaha...

Ada satu hal yang paling saya kagumi dari Johanna. She loves her family so deeply! Dia membiayai kuliah adiknya, membantu keuangan orangtuanya dan lainnya. Johanna sangat royal kepada keluarganya. Dia pernah bercerita, kalau bertahun-tahun bekerja dia tidak punya harta karna lebih mementingkan keperluan keluarganya. Pernah ada kejadian, adiknya sedang sakit keras. Johanna mati-matian berusaha untuk mengurus adiknya. Mulai dari menemani berobat di Jakarta sampai biaya pengobatan ke Penang Malaysia. Tidak ada yang tidak dilakukan Johanna demi keluarganya. Terutama, dia terus berusaha untuk membahagian kedua orangtuanya. Dia secara rutin akan mengirim materi kepada mereka. Pernah sekali waktu dia tugas kerja ke Yogyakarta dan kami bertemu, disana dia menceritakan tentang permasalahan keluarganya dan saya lihat kalau dia semakin kurus dan matanya sangat sayu. Waktu itu saya sedikit marah, saya katakan kalau saya tidak keberatan jika dia lebih mengutamakan keluarganya, tapi dia juga perlu sedikit egois untuk mengurus dan membahagiakan dirinya sendiri. Tapi dia menjawab seperti ini:

"Ras, aku nggak mau nanti ketika orangtuaku meninggal aku menangis karna menyesal belum sempat membahagiakan mereka. Aku mau menangis karna memang aku sudah puas membuat mereka bahagia. Mereka sudah banyak berkorban untuk aku dari kecil sampai besar. Aku berkomitmen untuk tetap mengirimi mereka 'uang' bahkan nanti kalau aku sudah menikah. Komitmen ini juga nanti harus disetujui oleh pasanganku"

Yaaaak... saudara-saudara... saya hanya mampu diam dan merasa bodoh sekaligus egois mendengar kata-katanya. Berbahagialah orangtuanya memiliki anak seperti Johanna.

Menulis tentang Johanna, membuat saya berdoa dalam hati betapa saya sangat bahagia dan bersyukur memiliki sahabat seperti dia. Sahabat perempuan saya yang paling lama. Sahabat yang menjadi saksi di setiap permasalahan yang saya hadapi.
Dan yang membuat saya semakin bahagia adalah dengan mengetahui kalau saya memiliki Johanna-Johanna lain. Beberapa sahabat perempuan sewaktu saya tinggal di Pekanbaru, dimasa-masa saya bekerja di Jakarta dan sewaktu saya tinggal di Yogyakarta.

Sekarang Johanna menetap di Australia sampai paling tidak 2 tahun kedepan. Thanks to WA kami bisa teleponan gratis :D :D :D Kami masih bisa saling support dan bertukar kabar, terkadang kami bahkan masih bercerita tentang hal-hal konyol atau mengungkit semua kegilaan kami di masa lalu. Sampai sekarang saya masih suka tertawa sendiri kalau mengingat memori-memori itu. Saya hanya bisa mendoakan semoga studinya lancar, dan dia tetap sehat disana sampai dia kembali ke Indonesia.

Kalau ada yang mengatakan kita harus pemilih dalam berteman, saya setuju dengan hal itu. Kita boleh ramah kepada siapa saja, namun pertemanan dan persahabatan merupakan hal lain. Mereka... all of my girlfriends are my precious treasure. I love and proud to know them because they're really something!

Why I need best girlfriends?
Because we laugh at the same stupid things we do.
Because they give me honest advice.
Because they will be there for me, even if
they're thousands of miles away.
Because they celebrate with me, when I'm at my best
but still love me at my worst.

Note:
Incase you read this Jo, I just want to let you know that I'm really proud of you and always will be. For every struggling you've been faced, you're beyond an incredible woman. You've been hurt by someone who didn't deserve you but heeeiii... just read my words below:

It's just a test Jo... like all the previous tests, I believe you can win this.
I know you're striving for excellence spiritually so don't let yourself fall for someone unequally yoked believers again, cause at the end, it will become a disaster. I don't talk about religion but more than that ya Jo. Just seek the character and maturity from someone, cause in the long term love isn't enough.
You deserve for a man who can respect you in order to be submissive.
The one who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God, will come to your path. Your truly happiness on the way Jo, so be patient yaaa...
Johanna, you are worth a lot! remember that! Never ever let that 'hurt feeling' make you down.
Stay tough there, GBU abundantly. Hug youuuuuuu.........!!!

Date a Boy Who Travels

Saya punya kebiasaan setiap membaca artikel yang bagus akan langsung saya copy, paste ke Mic. words tanpa mencantumkan linknya dan simpan di desktop laptop saya. Sampai tadi malam, demi melihat desktop laptop saya penuh akan data, saya kemudian bersih-bersih dan check apa saja yang saya simpan.

Ada satu artikel menarik yang kalau dilihat dari keterangannya saya simpan pada tahun 2013 (wew... lama amat ya), dengan judul "Date a Boy Who Travels". Artikel ini sangat menarik dan menginspirasi terumata kepada wanita-wanita diluar sana untuk mendapatkan rekan pria istimewanya. Berikut full textnya:

Date a boy who travels. Date a boy who treasures experience over toys, a hand-woven bracelet over a Rolex. Date the boy who scoffs when he hears the words, “vacation,” “all-inclusive” or “resort.” Date a boy who travels because he’s not blinded by a single goal but enlivened by many.

You might find him in an airport or at a book store browsing the travel guides — although he “only uses them for reference.”

You’ll know it’s him because when you peek at his computer screen his background will be a scenic splendor of rolling hills, mountains or prayer flags. His Facebook friend count will be over-the-roof and his wall will be plastered with the broken English ‘miss-you’ of friends he met along the way. When he travels he makes lifelong friends in an hour. And although contact with these friends is sporadic and may be far-between his bonds are unmessable and if he wanted he could couch surf the world... again.

Buy him a beer. Maybe the same brand that he wears on the singlet under his plaid shirt, unable to truly let go. Once a traveller gets home people rarely listen to his stories. So listen to him. Allow him to paint a picture that brings you into his world. He might talk fast and miss small details because he’s so excited to be heard. Bask in his enthusiasm. Want it for yourself.

He’ll squeak like an excited toddler when his latest issue of National Geographicarrives in the mail. Then he’ll grow quiet, engrossed, until he finishes his analysis of every photo, every adventure. In his mind he’ll insert himself in these pictures. He’ll pass the issue on to you and grill you about your dreams and competitively ask about the craziest thing you’ve ever done. Tell him. And know that he’ll probably win. And if by chance you win, know that his next lot in life will be to out do you. But then he’ll say, “Maybe we can do it together.”

Date the boy who talks of distant places and whose hands have explored the stone relics of ancient civilizations and whose mind has imagined those hands carving, chiseling, painting the wonders of the world. And when he talks it’s as if he’s reliving it with you. You can almost hear his heart racing. You can almost feel the adrenaline ramped up by the moment. You feel it passing through his synapsis, a feast to his eyes entering through those tiny oracles of experience that we call pupils, digesting rapidly through his veins, manifesting into his nervous system, transforming and altering his worldview like a reverse trauma and finally passing but forever changing the colors of his sight. (Unless he’s Karl Pilkington.) You will want this too.

Date a boy who’s lived out of a backpack because he lives happily with less. A boy who’s travelled has seen poverty and dined with those who live in small shanties with no running water, and yet welcome strangers with greater hospitality than the rich. And because he’s seen this he’s seen how a life without luxury can mean a life fueled by relationships and family rather than a life that fuels fancy cars and ego. He’s experienced different ways of being, respects alternative religions and he looks at the world with the eyes of a five-year-old, curious and hungry. Your dad will be happy too because he’s good with money and knows how to budget.

This boy relishes home; the comfort of a duvet, the safety stirred in a mom-cooked meal, the easy conversation of childhood friends and the immaculate glory of the flush-toilet. Although fiercely independent, he has had time to reflect on himself and his relationships. Despite his wanderlust he knows and appreciates his ties to home. He has had a chance to miss and be missed. Because of this he also knows a thing or two about goodbyes. He knows the overwhelming uncertainty of leaving the comforts of home, the indefinite see-you-laters at the departure gates and yet he fearlessly goes into the unknown because he knows the feeling of return. And that the I’ve-missed-you-hug is the best type of hug in the whole world. He also knows that goodbyes are just prolonged see-you-laters and that ‘hello’ is only as far away as the nearest internet cafe.

Don’t hold onto this boy. Let this boy go and go with him. If you haven’t travelled, he will open your eyes to a world beyond the news and popular perception. He will open your dreams to possibility and reality. He will calm your nerves when you’re about to miss a flight or when your rental blows a flat because he knows the journey is the adventure. He will make light of the unsavory noises you make when you — and you will — get food poisoning. He will make you laugh through the discomfort all while dabbing your forehead with a cold cloth and nursing you with bottled water. He will make you feel like you’re home.

When you see something beautiful he will hold your hand in silence, in awe the history of where his feet stand and the fact that you’re with him.

He will live in every moment with you because this is how he lives his life. He understands that happiness is no more than a string of moments that displace neutrality and he is determined to tie as many of these strings together as he can. He also understands your need to live for yourself and that you have a bucket list of your own. Understand his. Understand that your goals may at some points differ but that independence is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship when it’s mutually respected. You may lose him for a bit but he will always come home bearing a new story and a souvenir he picked up because it reminded him of you, like it was made for you and because he missed you. You might be compelled to do the same. Make sure that independence is on your bucket list and make sure it’s checked. Independence will keep your relationship fresh and exciting and when you’re together again it will forge a bond of unbreakable trust.

He’ll propose when you’ve breached your comfort-zone, whether it is a fear like skydiving or swimming with sharks or sitting next to the smelly person on an overcrowded bus. It won’t be with a diamond ring but with a token from a native culture or inspired by nature, like the penguin and the pebble.

You will get married somewhere unassumed, surrounded by a select few in a moment constructed to celebrate venturing into the unknown together again. Marry the boy who’s travelled and together you will make the whole world your home. Your honeymoon will not be forgotten to a buffet dinner and all-you-can-drink beach bars, but will be remembered in the triumphant photographs at the top of Kilimanjaro and memorialized in the rewarding ache of muscles at the end of a long days hike.

When you’re ready you will have children that have the names of the characters you met on your journeys, the foreign names of people who dug a special place in your heart if only for a few days. Perhaps you will live in another country and your children will learn of language and customs that open their minds from the very start, leaving no room for prejudice. He will introduce them to the life of Hemingway, the journey of Santiago, and empower them to live even bigger than both of you.

Marry a boy who travels and he’ll teach your children the beauty of a single stone, the history of the Incas and he will instill in them the bravery of possibility. He will explain to them that masking opportunity there is fear. He will teach them to concur it.

And when you’re old you’ll sit with your grandchildren poring over your photo albums and chest of worldly treasures while they too insert themselves into your photographs, sparked by the beauty of the world and inspired by your life in it.

Find a boy who travels because you deserve a life of adventure and possibility. You deserve to live light and embrace simplicity. You deserve to look at life through the eyes of youth and with your arms wide open. Because this is where you will find joy. And better, you will find joy together. And if you can’t find him, travel. Go. Embrace it. Explore the world for yourself because dreams are the stuff reality is made from.

Inspired by the work of Charles Warnke (You Should Date An Illiterate Girl) and Rosemarie Urquico (Date A Girl Who Reads).

Originally published on Where Are My Heels.

Copy from link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lena-desmond/date-a-boy-who-travels_b_3293815.html

Chef...chef...Food...Food...

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Chef...chef...Food...Food...

Routine already makes me dizzy of thinking.... a lot... Jadi setiap nonton televisi rasanya sudah nggak mau mikir lagi. Menurut saya satu-satunya acara yang memberi "aroma terapi" adalah cooking channel. That's why I'm so addicted to Asian Food Channel or AFC. Well, kebetulan saya hobbynya makan dan entah mengapa menemukan jiwa seni justru dalam makanan (Please notice seni disini adalah meramu bahan dan etika makan). Weird...??? but for me food is an art :D

Aneh.... tapi beberapa malam yang lalu aku bermimpi bertemu dan berbincang dengan Sherson Lian (Salah satu host AFC). Awalnya aku tidak begitu tertarik dengan Koko dari Malaysia ini. Agak lebay sih.... Bisa dilihat ketika si bapak ini membawakan program masak memasaknya 5 Rencah 5 Rasa. Lebaaaaaaayyyyy...... However, he's totally different in his another program (Family Kitchen with Sherson). Co-host with his lovely mother Ann Lian (A man who can partnership with his mom is certainly HOT!).

Lha... trus kalau mimpi ama si Sherson emang kenapa?

Ini menjadi masalah besar karna sebenarnya I'm so in love with others.... well, bukan sejenis chef sebenarnya, tapi hanya host untuk acara makanan. I even follow his Instagram! Which is sebenarnya aku picky sekali untuk follow IG seseorang. Please let me introduce you the one and only Razif Hashim. Taraaaaaaaa.....!!!!!!!

Ini cowok beneran lucuuuuuu banget. Aku nggak bisa berhenti tertawa melihat dia mengomentari setiap makanan yang dicobanya. Dia makannya banyak.... no control for image!!! Aku sudah lihat perubahan si bapak yang satu ini dari mulai pertama kali muncul dengan badannya yang langsing sampai menjadi semok sexy. (Recently he travelled to Bali; based on his IG).

Gara-gara si om Razif dan Sherson, aku sampai pengeeeeeen sekali mencoba makanan Malay yang asli. Khususnya wilayah Penang. (Both of them are Malaysian). Pernah sangkin ngidamnya berkali-kali makan ke Penang Bistro.... but it's not authentic tough. Tapi lumayanlah buat mengobati gatalnya mulut hehehehehe.....

Bukannya nggak bangga dengan masakan negara sendiri, tapi boleh dong naksir makanan tetangga sekali-sekali.... buat pengalaman maksudnya... Tapi ya, masakan Malaysia memang benar-benar fusion makanan yang sempurna karna warganya yang campuran Melayu, Chinese dan India. Bahkan rumornya makanan khas India Selatan is the best disana. Padahal menunya vegetarian lho....

Nah... yang lagi hot-hotnya sekarang adalah si food blogger Mark Weins. Awalnya hanya iklan recommended video by youtube, eh..... jadinya keranjingan nonton dia deh... Mark baru-baru ini menghabiskan waktu untuk mencoba berbagai macam makanan Indonesia yang ada di wilayah Jakarta. I'm so suprised he can eat much spicy chili.... tapi begitu tau istrinya orang Thailand dan dia belakangan menetap disana jadinya maklum sih.... (Please see his website migrationology.com). Kalau melihat dari videonya, Mark concern menjelajahi makanan di daerah Jakarta Barat dan Utara, which is wilayah ini kebanyakan ditinggali oleh masyarakat Chinese Indonesia yang makanannya memang enak-enak.... Asyiknya sama Mas Mark ini kerena dia deep banget dengan food street ke negara manapun dia berkunjung. Sejauh ini dia udah upload perjalanannya ke Thailand, Vietnam, Philipino, Korea, dll. yang masih sekitaran Asia. Rekomendasi banget buat yang mau melancong dan pengen cari tau makanan murah meriah di negara-negara tadi.

Well, cukup menarik membahas makanan dan teman-temannya (ya hostnya juga.... ya programnya juga). Trus, bagaimana dengan program dan hostnya yang dari Indonesia? Ada sih siaran ulangnya Kitchen Urban dan Spice of Life yang diputar ulang ama AFC. Dan itu acara udah basi alias acara beberapa tahun yang lalu.... (Awalnya disiarkan oleh Kompas TV). Males ya???

Yaaaa.... yang gak bikin malas adalah ketika membicarakan chef  Indonesia yaitu Chef Juna yang guanteng...teng....teng... heheheheehehe.... (Ngusap air liur)

But honestly, despite his good looking I am not really sure for his ability as a chef. Karna itulah dia sebutannya Celebrity Chef yang doyan marah-marah tapi entah kenapa nggak tua-tua (Buat kamu cowo yang baca ini dan yang ngakunya masih muda.... SELAMAT MERASA MALU AJA YA.... ini si Om Juna umurnya udah diatas 40 tahun lho).

Mungkin sebenarnya kita punya chef taraf international hanya kurang komersial. Demi melihat channel kesayanganku yang semua hostnya non Indonesia suka merasa gimanaaaa gitu. Padahal saingannya baru taraf Asia lho.... belum ketemu Mas Donal Skehan, Mba Anna Olson, Mba Damaris Phillips.... apalagi sama kang Bourdain dan Kang Ramsay.... Bisa garuk-garuk aspal.......

Semoga.... soon... ada host dari Indonesia yang tampil di AFC........ amiiiiiiinnn......

Happy food..... Happy tummy..... :D

So I decided to take a step back....

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

So I decided to take a step back....

Previous months.... last 3 months actually, I decided to resign from my job. I feel enough for drama that I couldn't afford there. After so much patience and for my own pride, I quit as soon as I can. I became a jobless person, limited financial, mentally down, feel so tired for routine and I thought I lost my character.

New chapter again.... I got a new job offering. A nice one honestly and I'm so thankful for it. I asked some months to join effectively, they agreed and I will join after Lebaran day.

So I decided to take step back... Jakarta already too crowded... I choosed to visit and spent sometimes at town that I adore much, Solo and Yogyakarta to finish my old project.

This... my oldest project. My own blog.... after denial over and over again. Just hoping I can grasp my commitment to write something or anything here.

I already have some articles from my "me time", but still need touch up. So, I will back soon...

Help me from routines!

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Help me from routines!

Try routines, it kills... (Paulo Coelho)

Pic.Source: Paulo Coelho FB 2016

Is it only me or anybody feels the sameway about 'routines'? Seems like a devil circle

Routines as a worker
Routines as parents
Routines as human
Routines at the same places
Routines in life stages
And yes... it kills you slowly until you realize you already a dead person inside...

I'm too afraid to do routines anymore. I'm afraid to be a zombie in my own life...
I need something new... I need adventures... give me anything to makes me up and then down...
Let things beat me hardly... anything but routines.
I'm done with routines...

Di radio... aku dengar.... lagu kesayanganmu....

Friday, 17 June 2016

Di radio... aku dengar.... lagu kesayanganmu....

Saya lumayan addict dengan yang namanya radio. Alasannya mengapa adalah sebagai berikut:

1. Bapak saya.... iya bapak Sihaloho yang ganteng itu,  adalah orang yang sangat strict dan disiplin serta ekstra hati-hati dengan segala sumber informasi yang masuk ke rumah. Dalam hal ini, beliau amat sangat khawatir sumber informasi yang berasal dari televisi. Dari jaman sekolah SD, SMP dan SMU satu-satunya siaran yang boleh ditonton adalah acara berita, itupun berita malam. Sebelum tiba waktunya menonton, kami wajib ada didalam kamar, disuruh belajar atau mengerjakan PR. Saya ingat waktu itu entah kenapa setiap waktu belajar, daya tahan otak saya hanya paling lama 1 jam.... setelah itu ada sesuatu yang namanya "ngantuk" menghampiri... dan bapak saya bisa tiba-tiba masuk kamar untuk melihat apakah anak-anaknya masih dalan kondisi ON atau tidak. Kalau ketahuan tidur wah... bisa dikeramas.... :D ;D ;D Untuk menyiasati itulah saya sampai menabung demi bisa membeli radio saku kecil supaya saya lebih rileks ketika belajar. Rasanya menyenangkan mendengarkan ada orang bicara, kemudian ada lagu yang diputar. Kalau kebetulan tahu syairnya bisa sambil nyanyi...nyanyi...

2. Jaman saya waktu SMP dulu, waktu masa puberitas... saya dan anggota genk saya suka kirim-kirim salam dan lagu lewat radio lokal. Saya ingat nama stasiun radionya CAS FM. Kadang kami suka kirim salam dan lagu ke cowo yang ditaksir disekolah, tapi nggak berani mengaku nama aslinya alias NN (no name). Ampuuuun dah....

Penyiar radio: Berikutnya ada request lagu dari NN untuk Kevin (bukan nama sebenarnya) di jalan Mawar no. 45 (bukan alamat sebenarnya juga) dengan judul 'Show me the meaning of being lonely' dari Backstreet Boys... pesannya semoga Kevin sehat-sehat dan baik-baik disana.... dan jangan lupa PR matematikanya dikerjakan ya... (cuiiiit...cuiit...) 

Yang request (iya, saya orangnya): Senyum....senyum....

Sampai sekarang saya masih bingung kenapa dulu saya seringkali mengirim lagu ini, seakan-akan cowo yang saya taksir sangat memahami makna 'kesendirian' sehingga sayapun sangat ingin berguru padanya...

Jadi intinya waktu itu saya butuh radio untuk memuaskan perasaan saya yang seolah-olah care sama cowo yang ditaksir. Perihal si cowo dengar atau tidak, hanya Tuhanlah yang tahu....

3. Saat jaman SMU hubungan saya dengan radio naik ke tahap yang lebih tinggi. Bersama sahabat saya yang berinisial 'J' (Yes, its you 'J'), dari sekedar request lagu menjadi dekat dengan si penyiar radio langsung. Ada jam-jam indah berbincang melalui telepon dengan si penyiar radio. Setiap pagi ketemu disekolah pasti gosipin penyiar radio yang kita demen. Si A jutek tuh.... si B orangnya baik... si C okelah ya... (padahal bertatap muka saja belum pernah). Saya dan sahabat saya akhirnya copy darat dengan beberapa penyiar radio tadi... dan eheeeeem diakhiri dengan kisah asmara (Tolong dicatat, kisah asmaranya bukan dengan saya, tapi dengan sahabat saya. Sahabat saya punya kisah asmara bukan dengan penyiar radionya, tapi dengan sahabat si penyiar radio. Rencana Tuhan memang luar biasa...)

Pointnya waktu itu, melalui radio saya punya teman baru dan sahabat saya punya pacar baru.

4. Jaman kuliah, saya butuh radio sebagai pengantar tidur siang saya. Setiap siang jam 12.30 ada program radio dengan tittle 'FORMULA' -- formasi musik lambat. Saat itu adalah moment yang paling indah... musik mendayu-dayu mengiringi kekuatan mata saya yang sudah 5 watt. Pokoknya jangan diganggu!  Ritualnya adalah maskeran, set program FORMULA dan zzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzz.....

Kesimpulannya, radio berfungsi sebagai pengiring lullaby tidur dan membantu proses pengeringan masker di wajah saya...

5. Jaman kerja... iya... masa saya sekarang.... setiap berangkat dan pulang kantor saya pasti mendengarkan radio. Dan favorit saya adalah JAK FM dan MOTION FM (stasiun radio Jakarta). Mengapa tidak mendengarkan song playlist saya saja? Mmmmmmm...... entahlah, Saya lebih menikmati lagu-lagu baru yang belum pernah saya dengar kemudian cuap-cuap si penyiar. Informasi-informasi ringan yang terkadang jadi penting (misalnya arus lalu lintas). Dan sepertinya radio masih akan bersama saya dalam waktu yang cukup lama dan kami akan lebih dekat lagi. Kenapa??? lihat point 6 ya...

6. Harus diakui bisnis radio saat ini sudah di stage sunset. Apalagi radio-radio lokal yang ada di daerah. Saat ini, tempat saya bekerja mempunyai strategi operasional yang memanfaatkan stasiun radio lokal menjadi agent distribusi. Kami selaku produsen memiliki zero cost untuk advertising di radio, produk bisa sampai ke pelosok daerah, sementara radio akan memiliki income lain sambil tetap siaran program-program mereka. Sounds great right?.... kerjasama yang sangat menyenangkan.... and what an idea..!

Viva la Radio.... kita dengar lagunya Gombloh yang judulnya 'Di Radio' yuk.... :)

Di radio aku dengar lagu kesayangmuKu telepon ke rumahmu sedang apa sayangkuKu harap engkau mendengarDan katakan rindu
Malam minggu pukul 7Aku apel di rumahmuKu bersiul dan menyanyiMembayangkan dirimu
Bercanda dan bercumbuDuduk berdua denganmu
Tetapi mimpi apa aku semalamKu lihat engkau duduk berduaBercanda mesra dengan seorang priaKau cubit, kau peluk,Kau cium..
Bercanda dan bercumbuDuduk berdua denganmu

What is it about LOVE that makes us so...so... stupid..???

Thursday, 16 June 2016

What is it about LOVE that makes us so...so... stupid..???

What is it about LOVE that makes us so...so... stupid..??? 

Kalimat diatas adalah quote dari film Under the Tuscan Sun (2003). 

Well, jatuh cinta berjuta rasanya... Selama hidup, saya mengenal ada 2 jenis orang yang atas nama cinta menelan STUPIDITY.

1. Orang yang mampu berganti hati secepat dia berganti pakaian. 

Contoh realnya kita tengoklah mba Taylor Swift. Kalau lihat biographynya di wikipedia, dan masuk ke personal life, si mba yang cakep ini rata-rata menjalin hubungan hanya 3 bulan per 1 pria. Hubungan paling lama dan rekor yaa.. yang terkahir ini dengan pak Calvin Harris (1 tahun, more or less). Belum seminggu putus dari abang Calvin, udah dating dengan pria baru, adiknya si pahlawan Thor, Tom Hiddleston.

Wow....wow....wow.... Well, saya punya teman pria yang hubungan percintaannya hampir sama dengan si mba ini. Kalau ditanya kok bisa begitu, dia hanya mengatakan 'yaaaah... namanya juga jatuh cinta' Sooo,,, that is love for him.

2. Orang yang kalau sudah jatuh cinta jadi benar-benar bego dan sungguh aneh 'bego'nya tahan lama.

Kalau orang jenis ini putus cinta, hatinya bisa 'HANG' lamaaaaaaaaa sekali. Mau pangeran/ putri atau aktor Lee Min Ho/ Angelina Jolie sekalipun yang deketin pasti diabaikan.  Mereka-mereka ini butuh waktu untuk mengobati hatinya dan biasanya untuk jatuh cinta lagi akan menjadi extra hati-hati. Tiba-tiba jadi telitiiii banget dalam menilai calon pasangannya. This kind of person looking for something real out of theory.

Kalau disuruh pilih orang jenis mana yang paling patut dikasihani saya akan pilih orang yang nomor 1. In my opinion this kind of people just felt half of love anyway. Saya bukannya bilang dia nggak pernah jatuh cinta lho.... tapi jadinya tidak begitu peka akan perasannya, hatinya suka bingung apakah ini rasa suka, sayang atau cinta? Nanti setelah ditinggalkan baru menyadari kalau itu adalah perasaan cinta. Nah, kalau sudah begitu yaaa... haleluya deh... But above all, love for sure makes us so stupid. Kalau masih sepenuhnya mengandalkan logika, trust me, just doubt your 'love' then.

Seringkali kalau orang yang benar-benar jatuh cinta ditanya mengapa bisa jatuh cinta dengan orang tertentu bahkan tidak tau alasannya. Pokoke cinta aja titik. Tapi... bukankah itu yang menarik dari cinta??? Jadi ingin tahu semua informasi dari orang yang ditaksir (bahkan kalau perlu panjang jempol kakinya harus tau berapa centimeter) susah tidur, kurang selera makan, uring-uringan, moody atau istilah anak alay sekarang jadi 'galau'. Benar-benar jadi sakit..... sakit mental....

However ya sodara, bagian yang paling menarik dari cinta adalah perjuangan untuk memilih, mendapatkan dan mempertahankannya. Intinya jangan pernah membuat statement patah hati kalau memang belum pernah fight menyerang 'target'nya. Berasa udah putus asa tapi ngajak kencan aja gak berani hanya karna banyak yang mendekati. Yaaa.... selamat garuk-garuk aspal aja.... Tapi bukankah akan lebih indah ketika kita membuat keputusan untuk memperjuangkan seseorang yang memang kita jatuh cintai?

But just remember, love is not equal with marriage!!! Camkan itu anak muda... untuk kisah tertentu dua hal ini mungkin berbanding lurus, tapi jangan lupa banyak pernikahan diluar sana not based on love, cintanya bisa dibuat sambil menikah. Pernah melihat pernikahan hasil perjodohan tapi pada akhirnya langgengkan? Eh, yang awalnya jatuh cinta menggebu-gebu menikahnya hanya dalam hitungan bulan saja.
Bagaimanapun, demam jatuh cinta efeknya hanya sementara, pada waktunya yang tinggal adalah keputusan untuk tetap setia dan komitmen bersama. Pernikahan memerlukan lebih dari sekedar stupidity of love.
Seorang teman pernah mengatakan ' Kita tidak bisa memilih dengan siapa kita jatuh cinta, tapi kita bisa memilih siapa yang patut diperjuangkan untuk menjadi pasangan hidup kita' Nah lho.... berarti sekarang cintanya udah pake logika dong? Yup perlu logika yang rumit (serumit belajar Kimia, kenapa Kimia? yaaa... karna pengen Kimia aja.... hehehehe) untuk membuat strategi agar cinta yang stupid dan buta tadi bisa long lasting.

So, bagi yang sedang jatuh cinta diluar sana, saya ucapkan selamat berjuang ya cintaaaaa.... :D

So, it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me.... everyday 

(The Notebook)

Female singer (previously), recently.

I do love music.... really really love this stuff. Mungkin ini sudah menjadi bawaan dari lahir. Dulu, orangtua saya pernah bercerita, kalau dari kecil saya memang paling senang kalau sudah mendengar alunan musik. Pernah sekali waktu, tetangga kami memutar sebuah lagu dari tape, dan saya yang pada waktu itu masih berumur 3 tahun langsung lari keluar rumah ke tempat tetangga dan menari-nari disana. Kalau musiknya dihentikan, saya pasti langsung menangis kencang hehehehe.... Kejadian ini menjadi semacam joke oleh keluarga untuk saya sampai sekarang.
Pada dasarnya saya mendengarkan hampir semua jenis musik, tapi jenis musik apa yang menjadi favorit saya? Jujur saya tidak bisa mengurutkan porsi warna musik mana yang paling saya sukai. Saat saya sedang butuh waktu relax, musik instrumental, indie atau folks akan menjadi pilihan saya. Pada saat saya sedang di puncak energi, musik rock, R&B atau pop yang akan ada list winamp laptop saya. Semuanya tergantung mood saja. Kecuali mungkin untuk jenis musik heavy metal... sorry but I don't get it, there is no tone and what the singer do just screaming again and again....

Setiap pagi, saat saya sedang bersiap-siap pergi kekantor dan di perjalanan, radio menjadi sumber musik yang saya dengar. Dari radio saya akan tau lagu-lagu terbaru, penyanyi yang sedang in dan informasi perkembanngan musik didalam maupun diluar negeri.
Pada postingan kali ini saya ingin sharing khusus mengenai female singer, baik dari dalam maupun dari luar negeri. Mengapa female singer? Well, to be honest the reason is so clise...
Jadi begini ceritanya, sudah seringkali saat saya mendengarkan radio, ada penyanyi wanita yang menyayikan lagu dengan lirik yang menurut saya bagus sekali. Sampai pada akhirnya itu semua terasa mengecewakan ketika saya melihat video klipnya di youtube. Terus terang saya tidak bisa menutupi rasa kecewa. Kebanyakan penyanyi-penyanyi wanita itu lebih fokus untuk mengekspos tubuh mereka. Semuanya dipertontonkan, semuanya.... Sebagai wanita timur tentu saja saya merasa kurang nyaman dengan pertunjukan seperti itu. Sangat disayangkan sebenarnya, padahal lagunya saja sudah bagus lho... Karena alasan itu. rasa ingin tahu mengenai video klip para female singer sering saya skip. Kalau mau searching saya lebih memilih mengetik dengan tambahan lirik dibelakangnya. Misal, saat ini saya sedang senang-senangnya mendengarkan lagunya Rachel Platten yang berjudul Stand By You, saya kemudian mengetik di search engine Youtube "Stand by you rachel platten lyrics'. That's it.... itu sudah cara yang paling aman daripada saya jadi hilang feeling ke penyanyinya. (Alasan ini khusus ke penyanyi luar negeri). Well, bagaimanapun tidak adil rasanya kalau saya tidak sedikit membahas penyanyi dari negeri sendiri, so... yuk kita bahas satu per satu...

Female singer from Indonesia.

1. Reza Artamevia

My number one list is Reza Artamevia. For me she is the best female singer from Indonesia, until now. Warna suaranya sangat seksi dan dalam. Lagu-lagunya begitu sensual dan mendayu. Tadinya saya kira dia akan sangat lama bertahan di industri musik Indonesia, ternyata saya salah. Ketidakmampuannya untuk menyeimbangkan kehidupan pribadi, spiritual dan karir musik membuat karir bernyanyinya habis sudah.... what a shamed.
Lagunya yang berjudul 'Aku Wanita' is my most choise...

2. Anggun C. Sasmi

Anggun C Sasmi is another incredible Indonesia singer. Hampir semua lagunya termasuk kategori easy listening, warna suarannya sangat powerful, energik dan ngerock. Single international pertamanya 'Snow On The Sahara' so awesome. Liriknya keren....  tidak lupa single lawasnya yang sendu berjudul 'Mimpi' merupakan favorit banyak kalangan pendengar musik. Secara teknis, Anggun bisa mengontrol power suaranya agar dia tidak perlu berteriak-teriak (I hate singer when they're screaming instead of singing). Jika dilihat dari aspek prestasi, Anggun adalah satu-satunya penyanyi wanita Indonesia yang sekaliber dengan penyanyi wanita dunia. Kualitas suaranya setara dengan penyanyi international maupun penyanyi kompetisi. Satu hal lain yang saya kagumi dari Anggun adalah how still low profile she is... Gaya berbicaranya masih sama, rendah hati dan banyak tertawa. Anggun bisa bergaya modis tanpa kelihatan norak, dan aktif pula sebagai duta PBB untuk masalah kemanusiaan, sesuatu yang jarang dilakukan oleh penyanyi komersil lainnya. Anggun masih tetap kelihatan fresh tanpa make up yang terlalu tebal, badannya kelihatan fit tanpa harus menonjolkan otot karna terlalu sering ke gym atau sebaliknya jadi keliatan sangat kurus. To be honest, Anggun adalah kriteria proporsi badan wanita yang menurut saya  paling ideal dan sehat.

3. Ruth Sahanaya

Selanjutnya ada Ruth Sahanaya, penyanyi kompetisi dan sekaligus penyayi komersial favorit saya (selain Krisdayanti).  Her voice is so amazing. Lagu-lagu yang dia nyayikan sendiri ataupun yang berduet sangat populer di jamannya. Salah satu lagu duetnya dengan Katon Bagaskara yang berjudul 'Usah Kau Lara Sendiri' benar-benar sesuatu.. (I'm sooo happy they decided to duet since Katon is my favourite too)

3. Titi DJ

Now let's move to Titi DJ. Siapa yang tidak tau lagu-lagunya yang amat populer di akhir tahun 90an seperti 'Bahasa kalbu' atau 'Sang dewi'. Lagu bahasa kalbu merupakan soundtrack sinetron Cinta yang dibintangi oleh Desy Ratnasari. Sinetron ini diangkat dari novel karangan Mira W dengan judul 'Seandainya Aku Boleh Memilih' dan ratingnya tinggi sekali pada waktu itu.


Sekian dulu untuk penyanyi wanita domestik :) sekarang mari kita bahas urutan female singer dari luar negeri (saya sudah mempertimbangkan faktor "keseksian" dari video klip masing-masing, dan ini faktor yang berada di point tengah-tengah ya... karna bagaimanapun faktor lirik jadi prioritas utama saya)

1. Sia

Saya tau tentang Sia pertama sekali karna lagunya yang berjudul Chandelier. Ada sedikit cerita lucu mengenai lagu ini. Waktu itu weekend di tahun 2014, saya sedang menyetir dengan salah seorang sahabat lama menuju sebuah tempat makan di Jakarta Utara. Cuaca sedang hujan deras dan saya menyetir pelan-pelan di jalan tol sambil menyalakan radio yang memutar lagu Chandelier. Mungkin karna faktor cuaca dan suasana, saya dan sahabat saya hanya diam saja di mobil sambil mendengarkan lagu ini... sampai saat bagian refrein pertama usai, kami berdua sama-sama menjerit, tertawa dan memaki

Saya               : Siaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll...........!!!!!!!!!!    brengsek....!!!!!!!
Sahabat saya  :  Anjriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt........!!!!!!!!! Kampreeeeeeettttttt...................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(mohon maafkan sahabat saya, dia memang jenis orang yang sangat ekspresif dan maafkan juga cara saya melepaskan emosi ya...namanya juga reaksi spontan hehehehe....)

Well, lirik lagu ini menyiratkan kehampaan dan kesedihan mendalam secara terang-terangan:

Party girls dont get hurt 
Can't feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down
.......
I'm the one "for a good time call"
Phone's blown' up, ringin' my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love
.......
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier....
(kalau mau merasa lebih emosional bisa di check lirik lengkapnya di google ya cuiin)

Dari kejadian ini, saya akhirnya 'kepo' dengan Sia dan semua lagu-lagunya. Wow,,, penyanyi ini saya acungi semua jempol saya (sudah cukup lama saya tidak menemukan penyanyi sejenis Cindy Lauper sampai Sia muncul). Dia sama sekali tidak menampilkan sesuatu yang vulgar di video klipnya (kecuali mungkin lagu Fire Meet Gasoline). Sia punya penampilan yang khas. She always covers her face with black/white wig, because she can't stand for popularity. She even rely on her performance to the dancers while standing on the stage singing with her incredible voice. Jadi jangan pernah berharap Sia akan menunjukkan wajahnya atau menari-nari diatas panggung.
Semua lagu Sia merupakan paket lengkap. Mulai dari lagu beat atau jenis happy-happy, patah hati, jatuh cinta, motivasi, dll.... and I promise you, that all her lyrics are so powerful. Menurut saya suara Sia sungguh luar biasa, dia tidak hanya sekedar menyanyi tapi sekaligus meraung. Yap.... meraung, sampai kita bisa merasakan emosinya yang mendalam. Kamu bisa ketik 'Sia greatest hits- the very best of Sia 2016' di youtube. Ada 23 songlist Sia disana... hampir semuanya merupakan lagu favorit saya.

2. Lana Del Rey

Album pertamanya yang bertitle 'Born To Die' membuat Lana menjadi penyanyi yang dipertimbangkan. Banyak berita yang mengatakan bahwa suara aslinya sebenarnya tidak begitu bagus. Tapi kembali artikel ini dibuat dengan pertimbangan kekuatan lirik lagunya.
Bagi orang awam, mungkin lirik lagu si tante ini agak sulit dipahami. Namun bagi orang yang pola pikirnya filosofis,lirik lagunya gampang dicerna kok. Kata-kata dalam lagunya ada yang bermakna alkitabiah, kadang terasa mistis and so dark. Karna itu sempat ada isu kalau Lana adalah pengikut gereja setan terkait lirik lagunya tersebut.
Salah satu lagunya yang booming dan menjadi soundtrack dari film Leonardo DiCaprio (The Great Gatsby) adalah 'Young and Beautiful'. Well, I have to admit this song kind of 'make you want to stickier with your man''. Lagunya yang menurut saya sangat dark adalah 'Born To Die'.

.....
Lost but now I am Found
I can see but once I was blind
I was so confused as a little child
Tried to take what I could get
Scared that I couldn't find
All the answer honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime
.......
Choose your last words
This is the last time
Cause you and I
We were born to die
We were born to die
We were born to die
.........

3. Adele

Saya sebenarnya tidak terlalu suka dengan lagu romansa melow yang cengeng. Well, lagu-lagu Adele adalah representatif dari perasaan putus cinta yang berkepanjangan, situasi gagal move on dan memori kisah cinta masa lalu which is feel like will be never ending story. Liriknya lumayan menyayat hati sebenarnya (saya benar-benar merinding disko waktu mendengar lagunya yang berjudul 'Someone Like You' --> rasanya pengen garuk-garuk aspal). But what makes her on the top 3? nothing but because she is so truly in the music industries. Once she ever said:'I don't make music for eyes, I make music for ears'
Meskipun saya tidak suka lagu melow romansa patah hatinya si ibuk yang satu ini, tapi lagu patah hati mana yang lebih baik dari lagunya Adele? Karena itulah dia berada di chart ini.... hehehehehe.... Plus, no sexual and vulgar video! yeaay....!!! I am kind love her song recently called 'Send My Love (To Your New Lover)'

.......
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free

Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
.....
I was too strong, you were trembling
You couldn't handle the hot heat rising
Baby I'm still raising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn't keep up, you were falling down
......

4. Taylor Swift

Harus diakui kalau si mba ini memang talented sekali. Grammy periode lalu, Taylor memborong 9 piala. Wooooow...... itu keren sekali lho.... beside her fenomenal private life, which is become her inspiration for almost her song.... Taylor memang pintar sekali memanfaatkan rasa galaunya dengan menulis lirik lagu yang mengantarkanya pada ketenaran dan kekayaan. Which one is my favourit? Of course 'Wildest Dream'. This song tells the story when you can't handle the hot, sexy guy neither you can't make relationship with him (Aduuuuh....)

.......
He's so tall and handsome as hell
He's so bad but he does it so well
I can see the end as it begins
My one condition is

Say you'll remember me
Standing in the nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again
Even if  it's just in your
Wildest dream...
Wildest dream...

5. Meghan Trainor

Adik lelaki saya suka dengan dia, sepupu-sepupu saya juga suka dengan dia. Saya? well... saya suka lagu-lagunya yang riang..... kalau lagunya terdengar di mall atau tempat lain... sepupu saya akan berganti formasi menjadi vocal group dan adik lelaki saya akan menggoyangkan kepalanya... Meghan Trainor merupakan penyanyi yang masih muda tapi mampu memberi warna musik baru saat ini. Usinya baru memasuki 22 tahun.  Lagu yang mengantarkannya pada popularitas adalah 'All about the bass' dan duetnya dengan John Legend 'Like I'm gonna lose you'. Lagunya yang sering dimainkan di stasiun radio baru-baru ini adalah 'No'

I think it's so cute and I think it's so sweet
How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me
But let me stop you there, before you speak

My name is NO
My sign is NO
My number is NO
You need to let it go...
You need to let it go...
Need to let it go...
.......
I was in my zone
Before you came along
Now I'm thinking maybe you should go
Blah...blah....blah....
I'll be like 'nah' to the 'no', 'no', 'no'....

Well, mereka-merekalah penyanyi wanita yang menarik perhatian saya, dulu dan baru-baru ini. Terkait kualitas suara dan lagu mereka diatas rata-rata and they deserve for whatever they get today.